


It's All Very Funny, Really

by WorryDoll



Category: Hat Films - Fandom, The Yogscast
Genre: AKA Cussing/Cursing, F/M, Wordy Dirds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:18:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorryDoll/pseuds/WorryDoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Smith was your normal, every day guy. He enjoyed his job at YogTowers, his weekends were spent worrying about having fun with his friends and family, and his hobbies included airsoft, flying RC machines, and catering to his growing reptile collection. He never expected things to change, at least not any time soon... But in walks a girl to muck it all up, naturally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Funny Thing Happened in the War

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a fic, and my first time writing anything remotely creative in a very long time. Please be gentle!
> 
> All non-Yogs are completely original characters, not based off of real people.

Winter - it's a cold, cruel thing in nature, but it happens. It happens just like any other season does. Just like spring, summer, and autumn, it's always predictable. This winter was just like any other - utterly predictable, cold, wet, and overall unpleasant. Until a funny thing happened in the war.

The clacking fire of airsoft rifles filled the air in a large forest. Multiple colors of smoke filled the air, and it could be smelled a mile away. Its scent mingled with that of dried leaves and branches while the sound of men shouting and barking commands rung through the trees. Among those men was Alex Smith - this was what he lived for. Nothing beat the thrill, the total rush, that he got from being in simulated combat with his brothers in arms.

Smith ducked his way into cover as pellets zipped past him, one managing to just barely miss the sleeve of his camo jacket. This shorter guy had been after him for the last few minutes, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He had done really well not to be a dead man since the game had begun, though he would admit that it was mostly due to the fact that this was his usual haunt and he was good at leading his opponent on a goosechase. He knew this place like the back of his hand, and had a home field advantage over the group of visitors that they were playing against today.

Raising his head slightly over the barricade, he scanned the area for his assailant. His eyes settled on two players of the opposing team, one in more definite range than the other, and the guy from earlier was nowhere in sight. Figuring that the other had finally lost interest, or had maybe come under fire from his brothers, he carefully raised his rifle over his cover, fired a few shots until his opponent raised his weapon skyward and yelled “Hit!”, then walked off of the battlefield.

Smith felt a triumphant smile tug at the side of his mouth, observing as the other player got into position to fire. His smile faltered, however, when he realized that the other opponent’s sight was set dead on him, but he wasn’t firing, “Take a shot, mate!” He hollered across the field to the guy, who just shook his head. His adrenaline was through the roof and he wanted a challenge, damn it. Realizing that he wasn’t going to get it from this guy, he lined up to take a shot himself.

“Bang.” A muffled voice came directly from behind Smith, and he spun to look at who the hell just snuck up on him like that.

Looking up, he saw the stubborn guy from earlier, standing nearly on top of him with his sidearm pointed right at his head. It was obvious that it was the same guy, because he was wearing this ridiculously out-of-place red bandana around his upper arm. Now that he could place further features, it was also obvious that this guy was, in fact, not a guy. If the voice didn’t give her away, the slight swell of her chest certainly would - even under the armor and digital woodland camo. He put his weapon skyward, just as his opponent had done earlier, “What the hell are you, a ninja?”

The stranger laughed from beneath the mask that was covering her mouth, “Somethin’ akin.” They held out their hand out to help Smith up from his crouched position as one of their comrades came up from behind to offer cover fire.

Smith took the offered hand with a chuckle, standing and realizing just how much taller he was now - this girl was tiny! He nodded to the two in recognition, yelling “Hit!” before walking off of the battlefield, to the safety zone.

On the way to the zone, he mulled over every mistake that he’d made in order for his opponent to get a jump on him - namely, not checking the back of the structure that he’d been hiding near. Rookie mistake, but he also wasn’t expecting any of the outsider opponents to be able to navigate a new field so quickly.

Once he was safe, he removed his headgear and took a seat on a bench until the rest of the game was over. While he rested, he chatted with some of the other players, listening to one of his own talk about the bandana-wearing assassin on the field. Every person that had been taken out by her had been snuck up on and been taken out by a sidearm. As far as anyone knew, she hadn’t even fired a single shot from either of her weapons - not even at Smith, as she'd just been chasing him around the place.

Eventually, the visiting assassin was taken out of the mix on the field with a shot to the back of the shoulder. Her backup guy, on the other hand, was Hell on feet out there - going fullon triggerhappy once the assassin was off of the field. Smith watched as the she began taking off the mask, goggles, and helmet. As the helmet hit the table, his jaw nearly did the same.

Before him stood a five-foot woman, all brown-haired and doe-eyed, “Holy shit.” He spoke beneath his own breath, more mouthing the words than anything else. She was definitely not what he was expecting. He fully believed that she was going to be some rough-and-tumble type, the sort of bitchy-looking woman you’d see at a dingy biker bar, or something of equal looks. Anything but the innocent-looking girl in front of him.

She turned to him and grinned broadly, “Good run out there.” It wasn’t the voice that he was expecting, either. Behind the mask, everything was mumbled words and screaming in order to communicate, but the forward? Her voice was sweet, gentle, and dripping with the accent of a true-to-home Southern gal.

“Yeah. You, too.” Smith turned to face her properly, noticing that she had untied the bandana and used it to pull and tie her hair back.

“Sorry I had to take you out like that.” Her smile turned softer, and Smith couldn’t help but follow the facial change with his own.

“Nah, it's all part of the game, right? What you did was impressive. Can't say I've ever been removed from the war by a verbal hit before - nobody's ever gotten close enough.” Suddenly remembering his manners, he extended his hand to her, “Alex, by the way.”

She nodded, shaking his hand with a rough squeeze, “Cam. A pleasure.”

“Likewise.” Smith gave the most awkward, lopsided grin. Even he likely would have laughed at himself, had he looked in the mirror. He went to ask her a question, but was cut off by the guy that he been following this sneaky girl around the field.

“Terrorizing the locals?” This guy's voice was deep and rough, much like his appearance once the full-faced mask was off. He was a few inches taller than Smith, bigger in the arms, scruffy facial hair, darkly tanned with dark hair and eyes, and had a long scar running from over dark eyes, around the left one, and down across his lips.

She just laughed, “Just makin’ friends, Rambo. Slow your accusations.” Her tongue poked out at him, to which he grinned.

“Yeah, yeah.” He removed his helmet, “Good hustle. I've never seen her so damn determined to shoot someone before.”

Smith cracked a wide smile and laughed, “Chased me clear across the field. You her guardian angel out there?”

“Guardian angel, bodyguard… Idiot that follows her around to make sure she doesn't get her ass killed too early on in the game.” For such a rough exterior, his disposition was anything but. He looked like he’d be the villain in a cheesy 80’s slasher flick, but he seemed more of a really big teddy bear.

The trio talked for a long while, even skipping out on the next few games to just sit around and char. It was an odd experience for Smith, because he usually found himself drawn more to the battle than talking to people, including his own teammates. This girl, though… She fascinated him. Nothing about her screamed that she would be the type to enjoy this sort of thing, yet here he was, finding out that it wasn’t just airsoft that she was into - she participated in actual firearm tournaments back in the States and she was an award-winning trick shot. Rambo was her best friend and coach, so to speak, and his name was actually John - ‘Rambo’ just suited his style on the field, naturally. The two worked for the same company, though what it was that they did never really came up in the conversation. Smith told them a little bit of what he did, though his official given title was ‘video game player’ and the word ‘YouTube’ was left out altogether. Overall, he left them with the impression that he just played video games for a living, which wasn’t a total lie.

After the war was over, they parted ways as unlikely pals - added each other on social media and a couple of video chat applications, took a few selfies and Snaps to celebrate. The usual. Smith went back to Bristol, glad for the way that things had gone that day. It was a good shakeup to the usual routine of just going out and kicking ass in the forest all day.

From there, life proceeded as normal for him. At least for a few months...


	2. In The City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, somehow, managed to drag this chapter out waaaaaay further than intended. Lots of information about Cam and John in this one, and it took me a while to cram Smith into this chapter. Sorry about that! He'll be appearing more, now that I've got all of this out of the way! :)

In the Land of the Free, it was hot and humid, regardless of it being the middle of winter. Or, at least it was in Miami. Having arrived home from England in one piece, Cam and John settled back into their normal routines.

The Monday that followed their return, they showed up as normal for their jobs and we immediately yanked into a sort of company meeting.

“Did you find a place?” A guy, who looked an awful lot like Cam, questioned them.

“Yeah. We’ve already bought it, and Rob’s goin’ to start orderin’ things and gettin’ some workers out there to pretty the place up. Should be ready for us within the year. It’s, well… Here.” Cam pulled a tablet out of her bag, pulled up the gallery, and slid the device across the table, “It’s in Bristol. Old factory, almost six-thousand square feet, two stories with a garage that we can convert into extra workspace, plus a basement storage area - be a pretty wicked place for a Halloween party, has a dungeon-y feel to it.”

“Or a torture chamber. You know, for when you get pissed off at the underlings trying to alter your story lines.” John interjected with a laugh, the other joining in as well.

Cam was stone-faced when he said it, giving a shrug and nodding her head, “Or that, yeah.” She felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips when she noticed that he seemed pleased with the choice, “It’s got a nice garden out back, too - right outside of the kitchenette and breakroom. I think it’d be a great place to start out, if nothin’ else.”

“You did good, sis. I’m sure you’ll run the new extension just as well as you ran this one.” He slid the tablet back over to her.

“I still wish you’d get dual and come with us, Kale. It’s gonna to be weird runnin’ a show without you.”

The guy questioning them, Kaleb, just shook his head, “It’s months away, so don’t start crying just yet. Besides, you’ll have John as your rock over there. And I’m just a Skype call away.” He stood up and went to the other side of the table to hug Cam, “Besides, I already know that you can whip an organization into shape. This place may get a little lost without you, not the other way ‘round.”

She returned the hug, then grinned, “You’ll get complaints within the week. ‘She’s too much of a hardass to work with.’ ‘She yelled at me for takin’ a break.’ ‘She’s an awful boss, why is she runnin’ this shitshow?’ See? I can already hear the whinin’.”

He patted her shoulder and laughed, “Just remind ‘em who the boss really is.”

 

\----------------------------------------

 

Eight months later, Cam and John were mailing off the last of their belongings and packing their bags for the long flight back to England the next morning. This was the final night that they’d be staying in the house that they had purchased with her brother and Brayden, another of their company’s founders. It was a bittersweet evening for the four, as they’d been in this together since before the company even got its feet off of the ground. Making games wasn’t going to be the same anymore, but they knew that this was a good way to get more reach. They ordered their favorite Chinese takeout, watched a couple of bad movies, downed some drinks, and passed out, one by one, in the living room. Everyone except for Cam, of course - insomniac that she was.

Instead, she wandered around the house, spending a bit of time in each place that she held a fond memory in. By the time it was 3:00 in the morning on her side of the world, she was having a chit-chat with Rob, John’s brother who resided in Exeter, over Skype to let him know that the last of their stuff had been shipped off. In the background of the call, she could hear the excited chirp of Rob’s wife, Anna; she’d been in an excited frenzy ever since she found out that they’d be coming back to crash until the renovations were done on the place that she and John had bought in Bath.

After she was done with giving him updates, they ended the call and she went back to the living room to put on a silent film while she waited for 6:00 AM to roll around. She wasn’t going to get any sleep until they were on the plane the next morning, after a good session of bawling her eyes out.

 

Goodbyes were never easy for her. Leaving everything and everyone that she knew behind was even harder. Thankfully, she was at least able to take her cats, Bogart and Astor, on the plane with her. The two were in their carriers, nestled safely under the seats of the duo.

John watched Cam as she started to drift off, after the plane had taken off, and he sighed. Stopping the stewardess, he asked for a blanket to cover his sleepyheaded friend with, and enjoyed an otherwise uneventful, quiet flight for the next seven hours - after which, Cam was wide awake for the remaining ten, including both layovers.

They discussed where to begin with their new adventure, potential projects, and how they should decorate the common areas of the office. Ultimately, John didn’t give a damn as to how it looked and told Cam to just go hog wild.

 

A little over seventeen hours later, they touched down at Exeter International at around 8:10 AM. They gathered up their carry-ons and the carriers, and were greeted at the gate by two smiling, familiar faces. Rob offered to carry Cam’s luggage, which she relinquished to him with a smile, but would not allow either of them to carry her precious fur-children out of the place. Everyone could tell that John was just over it all - he just wanted a place to crash for a few hours, and the grump in his tone was further evidence of the fact after Anna asked how the flight went.

Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to wait for too long. After they picked up the rest of their luggage from the carousel, they left the airport and were ushered into the couple’s home within a short fifteen minutes or so. John didn’t even make it up the stairs, to the guest room - he just passed out on the first couch that he saw.

Cam, on the other hand, made it up to her temporary lodgings and released her feline friends so that they could get used to the place. Before she even thought about taking a nap or eating breakfast, she had to get them settled in with a fresh litter pan, fresh water, and some soothing words to ease their stresses. Anna and Rob were kind enough to move her into the spare room with an ensuite bathroom, so she had somewhere cool and quiet to keep Bogart and Astor until they calmed down.

Once they were set up, she washed up, changed clothes, and set out to go explore the kitchen.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

Regardless of their home not having been done yet, the duo began getting the office ready for moving in. It was a daily round-trip of three hours, but they couldn’t let distance stop them from getting started.

Previously, the place that they had purchased was all rotted wooden floors and gross, peeling wallpaper. It had been abandoned after the company that had owned it went under, and it remained dormant for twenty-something years. All of the windows had been busted in by rocks, weeds and other plant life overtook what used to be a parking lot. The old wooden staircase to the second floor had rotted and fallen apart, and the main floor had been riddled with old machinery. In fact, the only thing that they didn’t need fixed was the wrought iron fence that surrounded the property.

Now? This place looked nothing like the place that they’d bought. The floors had been replaced with concrete, the walls were all cleaned up and had a fresh coat of paint, the old wooden stairs had been replaced with steel ones. The entire upstairs had been renovated to accommodate executive offices. The bathrooms had been redone, and they were glorious. All of the windows had been expanded and refitted with tempered glass, and the parking lot had been repaved and painted for immediate use. The machines had either been stripped for scrap metal or donated to the local historical society. There was new electrical wiring and a ton of new power outlets, along with a new central heat and air conditioning system. The iron fences had been cleared of debris and vines, and pressure washed to shining perfection. Even the outside of the old brick warehouse had been cleared up and washed.

Cam was both delighted and unhappy with the way it all looked now. She loved that it had cleaned up so well in such a short time, but she hated that every wall in the place had been painted white during the renovation - especially since some original brick walls that would have looked great without the paint had been covered.

Her solution: Stink up the entire office space with chemical paint stripper to get the mess off of it. A whole day, and half of the next, was spent with her making friends with gloves, headgear, and lots of stinky chemicals.

The smell was so gnarly that John had to open every window in the place, and leave doors open, just to ventilate the smell. He and the movers had to wear masks over their mouths and noses to keep from inhaling the fumes while they moved desks, partitions, chairs, kitchen appliances, and various tables into the space. 

After that day and a half, most of the paint had been stripped and Cam decided to just leave it looking ‘rustic’.

“It adds character.” She claimed, while John just said that it looked like a lazy person did a half-assed job in response. Cam laughed, but shrugged it off, “Oh, well.”

 

It would be another few days of constant working, and one night of an accidental overnight stay, before they got all of the furniture set up. Rob took the weekend to help them out, even. Once it was all up and looking at least half like an office, the three of them called it an afternoon and slumped against the ‘rustic’ back wall.

Cam’s eyes scanned the room and she couldn’t force the smile from her lips. It was something that John took notice of very quickly, “Think it feels right?”

“So damn right.” She replied, leaning her head back against the wall. Her eyes shut, inhaling deeply before exhaling with a contented sigh, “Never thought I’d fall in love with another place after Miami.”

John looked around the room, smiling broadly, “Feels more like it’s ours, instead of Kaleb and Brayden’s.”

She just nodded, still smiling.

Their moment of solitude was interrupted by Rob. Or, rather, Rob’s stomach. He just laughed, “Sorry, guys. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning and it’s--” He lifted his arm to check his watch, “Almost three in the afternoon.”

Cam laughed with him, then started to make the motions of removing herself from the floor, “Come on. Let’s find somewhere to get a late lunch, my treat.”

Neither of them were going to argue with that, so they got up, locked the place up, and headed back into the middle of town to find a takeout place and order themselves some delicious burritos. It seemed fitting for them to eat in the park, given that they were sweaty from moving things about, so they parked, took their food and found a nice spot under a shady tree.

It was the middle of August, so the sun was shining and it was warm - a type of warmth that Cam and John greatly preferred over the gross, sticky humidity of Florida. They sat around and enjoyed their food and drinks while they people watched for a while, talking over their finances that were left after the renovations on the warehouse and the smaller ones that were being done on their house. A house that they’d get to move into very soon, so that they could stop doing a crazy three-hour trip every day to get to and from the new headquarters.

Cam finished off her burrito quickly and flopped over into the grass, stretching out on her stomach and watching the people on the other side of the park. She propped her elbows up on the ground and cradled her head in her palms, absently watching a group of people standing around - playing Pokémon GO, she wagered - while listening to the guys discuss further financial things. She was glad that they had Rob doing that side of things for them, he was a numbers sort of guy and had been doing amazingly at keeping them in line with their money. It did get boring, listening to him go on about it, though.

Suddenly, her attention was pulled away from group and stuck to a really tall guy that was with two others.

 

Smith, Ross, and Trott were taking a leisurely stroll through the park. Ahem, playing Pokémon GO. Trott had managed to nab a Rhyhorn right from under Smith, and the ginger was laughing off having just pushed Trott hard enough to nearly knock him off of his feet. Trott and Ross got to return the laughter once he saw Smith nearly jump out of his skin, however.

Cam had snuck up behind Smith and, very certain that it was her pal from the field after hearing him speak, said, “Bang!” Boy, she was going to feel some kind of stupid if it wasn’t who she thought it was!

Smith whipped around, wide-eyed, “Fuck me.” He said, breathlessly, then blinked, “Cam? The hell are you doing here?”

Cam felt relief wash over her when it was, in fact, who she hoped it was, “Nice to see you, too, friend.” She teased, mocking his manners and holding out her hand to him.

He smirked, extending a hand to shake her own, “It is nice to see you, but you really shouldn’t be shooting at people outside of the war zone.” And he was happy to see her. So much so that he felt his old fascination with her bubbling up all over again. The two hadn’t actually spoken, regardless of having contact information, since they met on the field. Either too busy, or too disinterested in social media to be bothered with trying - both being the definite cause on Cam’s end of things.

“Not people, just you.” She stuck her tongue out at him, then looked to the other two who accompanied him, “Who’re your pals?”

“Oh, right.” It’s like it’d just dawned on him that they weren’t exactly alone, “This is Tro- Chris, and this is Ross. Guys, this is Cam - she’s the one that I was telling you about last year, from the forest.”

They both exchanged greetings to Cam, and she welcomed the friendly gestures by giving her own in return, “Nice to meet you guys.” She met them with the most genuine, warm smile.

“Now, care to tell me why you’re here?” Smith courteously waiting for the pleasantries to pass, at least, before pressing for answers again.

Cam looked up toward him and grinned, “Sorry, I guess I’m not the best at keepin’ in touch, or updatin’ my Facebook. Rambo and I are movin’ into the area.”

Smith felt himself sputter, “R-really?” What the hell was that reaction, even?

She nodded, then kind of looked off to the side as if to think of a way to correct herself, “Well, we’re movin’ to Bath, but will be workin’ here in Bristol. We just got moved into our workplace, and will be movin’ into the house, end of the week.”

“Need any help getting moved?” He just stumped himself, not expecting the words that came out to have done so.

“Delicate little ol’ me, needin’ help with anythin’? Perish the thought.” She was putting the accent on thick, mostly for comedic effect. She laughed, shaking her head, “Nah, it’s alright. We’re gettin’ movers to get most of it, so we’re not too worried. Appreciate the thought, thou--” Cam was cut off by shouting - John’s shouting, to be specific.

“Cambria!”

“Shit. I’m gettin’ first name-called, guys. I better scoot before I get a scoldin’ for runnin’ off.” She shook each of the boy’s hands again, firmly, “Lovely meetin’ you.” She then smiled up at Alex, “Was good seein’ you again, Alex. Shoot me a message sometime. We’ll get together and catch up.”

Smith watched her haul butt back over the hill, staring the whole while. The prolonged stare earned an elbow jab from Trott to snap him out of it, then they went on their way.

 

\----------------------------------------

 

A couple of days later, Smith decided to send Cam a message on Skype.

_Hey. My offer still stands to help with the move if you need me._

He didn’t hear back from her for a couple of hours. Hell, he was kind of shocked to hear from her at all, given that he hadn’t been seeing her online much. ‘Away’ was always her status.

_Hey! I think we’ve got it, unless you’re looking for an excuse to hang out? :P_

Busted. Well, sort of. He did want to hang out with her again, but he fully intended to actually help with the move, too!

_Well, you did say you wanted to catch up. I figured we could catch up and I could help at the same time._

Smooth.

_Sounds good to me. Hope you’re ready for a decent drive, though. John and I are currently situated in Exeter, at his brother’s place._

Smith blinked, staring at the message for a moment before replying.

_That’s fine. Just tell me the when and where._

She sent him the time and the address for a storage facility, where most of their stuff was being contained for the time being.

_I also need to warn you that there will be live animals on board. I have two cats and a collection of non-mammals._

Smith felt his eyebrow cock upward, questioningly, even though he knew that she couldn’t see him.

_Dare I ask?_

He waited for her to reply, but the reply never came. Her status went to ‘Away’ once more, and he just shrugged it off. Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to be living with it, so he didn’t exactly give a damn.


End file.
